Monday, March 5, 2012

Attempting is much better than crying.

One of the hardest things about living on my own is budgeting my money.  I have never had to deal with the financial side of things.  That has always been taken care of for me and Clint is really good with money.  I am not good with money and that is probably because I have never learned about it and dealt with it.  So here I am, 33 years old, and figuring out how to budget and spend wisely and discern between an actual need vs. a want.  (I can make anything a need if I really want to.)

I am currently looking at options to work from home and build a business for myself.  I want to spend way more time with my kids.  I want to stop the great run around that is my current life Monday thru Thursday.  Every Sunday when I go to bed I am sad because tomorrow is Monday and that means the great run around begins again.  I have to work, I don't have an option in that regard but I can stop crying about my situation and make attempts to change it.  At least I am attempting and not just crying.  Attempting is much better, even failing at attempting is much better than feeling stuck and trapped in my situation.  I have applied for and looked into switching jobs to make more money but all of them take me away from my kids for more time out of each week so I don't view a job change as an option at this point.

My current situation isn't dire.  And realistically it will probably take a while before I can actually work solely from home so I am not looking for an overnight change but a light at the end of a long tunnel is better than no light at all.

So, I am looking, praying and researching the best options for me.  I want to be happy with my work and believe in what I do and my ultimate goal is to spend much more time with my kids.  I am tired of being hurried to get out the door every morning and the worst is when Eva doesn't want me to leave her and she is sad to see me go.  It is heart wrenching.  Her sweet face will keep me motivated towards my goals.

This is one of the only sad faced pictures of Eva that I have.  
It is so sweet because she is being comforted by her cousin Lucy who she loves very much and can always comfort her and make her feel better.

1 comment:

sweetheber said...

You'll find something. You're the most determined person I know :) And that picture of Eva--she's heartbroken!! So sad.

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