I lost it about a month ago and have had a really hard month. I didn't realize it was so hard until now when I can look back on it. I guess I knew it was hard but didn't know what was soooooo hard until hope came back and then I realized why it was so hard.
With my new found hope I woke up this morning and had a great morning with my girls. I got up before them and was able to get a lot done. Then Scarlett woke up and was all warm and snuggly.
She ate her breakfast while I finished getting ready.
Then we even made it to the toilet in time to catch a #2!
Then Eva woke up and we all sat down and ate breakfast together. Scarlett can eat a lot of food and can eat any time. I have seen her get sick of food but never really get full.
I then got everyone dressed and we were out the door by eight which is very rare. We were not hurried and we were able to enjoy the morning together. It was really nice.
Then later in the day reality hit and I had to face some hard things. Maybe another time I can talk about specifics. It is too raw at the moment to say more but the odd mixture of emotions that came were surprising. I prayed a lot and it helped.
Later in the day my spring of hope returned which was nice. I do have hope for my future. It is a distant light of hope right now but I have it and I am working towards something. I think I have found myself a good opportunity where I can build a business and hopefully in 2 or 3 years be able to stay home with my kids and manage my business from home. I realize I have work ahead of me but I know it will absolutely be worth it. I will explain what I have decided on in another post. For now I am going to sleep. It has been a roller coaster of emotions today and I would like to get some good rest and have another wonderful morning tomorrow.
Love to you.