Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Roller coaster day.

Today was an emotional roller coaster day.  I had an extreme high and then an extreme low and then some kicks while I was at the bottom.  I have been having these days a lot lately.  It is 1 a.m. and I am so tired and need to get in bed but I thought I would quickly check my email and the computer always helps me relax so I logged on.
I subscribe to a weekly email that Brene Brown puts out.  This is what was in my inbox waiting for me:

Put Down The Measuring Stick

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It's about cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, "No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough." It's going to bed at night thinking, "Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging." 
~ Brené Brown

Today, just today, consider the possibility that you don't have to measure your progress with your tasks to determine your worth. Allow for the gentle truth that your presence, your openness, your willingness to love and be loved is the way into your sense of knowing your worth without demand or self-judgment.

And then I shed a few more tears because I really needed this.
Yes, I am imperfect, vulnerable, afraid and I cry a lot because of these things.
Yes, I am brave and worthy of love and belonging.
I do matter.
What people think of me or my situation does not matter.

Brene also said that, "Asking for help is a power move."
It is extremely hard to ask for help and make yourself vulnerable and admit we cannot do things on our own.  It is really easy to feel shame when asking for help but when you think about it, Brene is right, asking for help is a power move.  It is being fully aware of the reality that we cannot do everything on our own and that we do need others.  Asking for help is not only OK but actually pretty great because having help from others brings love into our lives.

My biggest power move is prayer.  Lately it feels as if my prayers last the whole day through but I do stop and pray before I go to bed and I pray in the car on my way to work since I usually forget to do it before I leave the house.  I mostly pray for peace, strength and guidance.  I receive those things, without a doubt, every day.  I also pray to listen, learn and grow every day.  I pray for the perseverance to achieve my goals and not get discouraged.  I believe my goals are honorable and valuable and I will receive the help I need.

Without kneeling in prayer I would not be standing today.  People have told me I am very strong.  I only have strength because of prayer.

And it is late so I should probably stop now but in the theme of power moves here is one more power move from me.  As you read this will you say a little prayer in your heart for me?  That I will have strength and courage and perseverance.  I need those things as I embark on this new path.


And here is a picture just to make you all feel better.
What is more peaceful than a sleeping baby?
I just want to kiss those cheeks and lips.


Ms. Hobbs said...

You are strong and you do have perseverance. I am not one to pray, but I will send my version of a prayer your way. I am part of your village and it takes a village so please know that you can ask for my help too. :)

Love -


Shayla said...

You are in my prayers Miss Tammy!

Molly Bice-Jackson said...

I really like you and need to remember to come to your blog more often...

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