Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!

Here I am as a jellyfish at my office costume parade!
I have no idea what I am doing or why I think jellyfish look like this but there it is.
More to come of my sweet babies trick-or-treating.  It is going to be so fun.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A month ago.

A month ago yesterday, September 23, was an amazing day.  We blessed our 2 babies that needed blessing, Scarlett & Merrill Dee.  Clint's parents hosted the event in their beautiful back yard.  It was an intimate group and it was a weekend where other events were happening too so all of our family was in town and could be there.  My apologies but these photos are unedited.  I just don't have the time right now.

The weather was gorgeous, overcast and warm.  
Merrill's Auntie Rie made him a special outfit and 
Scarlett got a dress that was all her own and not a hand-me-down.
Our wonderful family and friends came to celebrate our sweet kids.
It was pretty much perfect.

I tried this cupcake tower thing.  It didn't turn out as I envisioned but the cupcakes were delicious.
I must thank my sister, Natalie, who helped me organize and plan this event.
Her tips for planning an event is for another post.

The man on the right is my dad, he blessed Scarlett.
The man on the left is Clint's dad, Merrill Dee, who blessed Merrill Dee.

 My brother is too cool to pose for a picture with his sisters.

And here are Clint's parents.

I was going to post about this day weeks ago but wanted to edit pictures and what not.  And now I post about it because almost exactly 3 weeks after this perfect day Clint's dad, Merrill Dee, passed away.  It was an accident and it was sudden and heartbreaking.  And now you know more about my past two posts.  We are so grateful that we have this day in our memories.  We are so grateful it was so perfect.  Merrill was so proud to have a namesake.  He talked about him to everyone he knew.  He was such a wonderful grandpa and one of the things that makes it so hard is that our kids won't remember him.  Eva woke up Monday morning crying.  When Clint checked on her she said, "I miss Grandpa."  She told me she had a dream about him and that it was a "nice" dream.  She has never told me that she has had nice dreams before she always tells me about her bad dreams but I hope she has more nice ones.  

I have so much more to say about my feelings.  The past week has been hard and I have learned a lot.  Death sure teaches the living so much.  I was honored to be with Clint's family last week and mourn with them and be there for his passing.  Merrill was an amazing man.  I will miss him terribly.  For now I will send out a thank you to the people who helped and comforted me, who sent me flowers and texts and thoughts and love.  Life is precious.  We must treat it so.  Share your love, forgive, ask for forgiveness and be joyful because tomorrow  who knows what could happen.


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Again. Thank you Mary Oliver.

“to live in this world

you must be able
to do three things
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go”
-Mary Oliver

It is hard to live in this world.  It is hard to be mortal.  It is hard to let people go. 

It is worth it though.

And when it is all over we will look back and think "That wasn't very long at all, why did I waste so much time with nonsense?"

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
-Mary Oliver


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I'm sorry...

...didn't you know the world has stopped?
It has actually stopped turning.
Someone needs to tell the wind and rain
but I am telling you
our world has stopped.
I look outside and it seems to keep moving
but I don't understand why.
The world has stopped I tell you!

All my love,

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


Here is a blog I enjoy reading.  The Mormon Child Bride
It is for people who have familiarity with the Mormon church.  If you don't you won't get it.
She writes about her struggles in the church and has an interesting perspective.  When I say interesting I don't mean I agree with everything she says but that she makes me think and that is always a good thing.

Monday, October 8, 2012

My wild forest.

I went on a trip to New Hampshire to have a refresher course in The Arvigo Techniques of Maya Abdominal Therapy.  "The techniques work to restore the body to its natural balance by correcting the position of organs that have shifted and restrict the flow of blood, lymph, nerve and chi energy." The Arvigo techniques really help with the female reproductive organs and it is what I work with most.  I have been a Massage Therapist since 2003 and I took the Arvigo class almost 10 years ago but when it came time to certify it was a horrible time financially for us so I didn't do it.  Recently I was watching a show on TV about successful people and how they got to where they are and someone said, "If you aren't passionate about what you do you will never be successful."  That really hit me hard and I couldn't stop thinking about it.  I have struggled a lot in the last few years with my chosen position and how to make money.  I realized that success does not have to be measured by how much money you make.  I am choosing to measure my success by the quality of life I have through happiness.

Currently I am not happy with the way I am making money and the where my time is going but I have felt trapped.  I have been thinking about what I am passionate about and envisioning what I would like to do with my time.  Massage, especially the Arvigo techniques, kept coming to me.  Since stepping away from massage as a source of income I have missed it and think about it often.  I have always loved talking about it and sharing my knowledge of the human body and I love a more natural approach to healing.  So I contacted the Arvigo Institute and last week I went out to New Hampshire for a refresher course so that I can work on my certification.  It was a great experience.  It was so hard to be away from my family but it was worth it.

Starting this again and looking back at the last 10 years I envision that I was on a clear path walking through a forest enjoying the beautiful scenery but then something out of my control forced me off of the path and I had to try plow my own path.  Occasionally I would come across smaller, less trodden foot paths that I would take for a while and then realize they weren't taking me any where and I would go back into the wild forest trying to force myself to be happy with the struggle and the pushing of obstacles searching for a better path.  Getting back into the massage world feels like I have found finally come across my clear, beautiful path again.  I have basically done one big giant circle and starting where I left off but that is OK.  I am just so happy to be in the right place.  It feels like coming home after a long journey.  Everything is so familiar and peaceful.  I have learned a lot in the last 10 years, in my "wild forest", and I wouldn't trade it but I am just glad the search and struggle is over and I can move on my clear path.

More to come I just wanted to update you all.
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