Monday, November 4, 2013

Adults should be really grateful that....

You can flush the toilet every time you use it.

Seriously.  It is a treat to be able to flush the toilet.  It is so fun!  I didn't realize it until I started getting in trouble every day for accidentally flushing the toilet for Scarlett.

It's the simple things.

Happy November everyone.  It is the month that reminds us to be thankful so I hope that flushing the toilet is on your list.  More than the fun of it plumbing is pretty great.

I was sad to see October go but November has a great feeling all it's own.


Tuesday, October 15, 2013

I quit my paying job to work much harder without pay.

Today marks one year since my father-in-laws death.  I can't believe it has been a year and yet there is a a bit of relief with it.  A lot of things have changed in my life since his death and most of those changes are because of it.

I quit my job at the beginning of September.  I am not a working mom anymore.  I worked for my father-in-laws company.  This last year at work has been really hard without him.  I won't/can't go into details about exactly why I left the company but I will say that I felt that it wasn't really my own decision to leave.  I didn't want to leave.  I loved my job and had lots of goals and plans for the company and the direction of the position I was in.  But alas, that enthusiasm and love was not shared by others.  I fought for a year to stay there.  I fought for a year to get others to see my vision.  It was a hard year in that part of my life.  I finally decided to give it up.  I still have a lot of mixed feelings about it which I am trying to work through.  Some days I am at peace and I say happily,"The Universe has other plans for me and I am excited to find out what is next!" and then there are other days where I am full of anger and spite and I want to shake certain people and yell at them.  I know God works in mysterious ways.  I have to believe that this has a purpose and that in a few years I will look back and be so grateful that it all happened this way.  Right now it is so hard to just give up my anger.  I want to for the most part but sometimes the justice loving feminist side of me just wants to keep fighting just out of vengeance  which I know is not the healthy, happy option.  There is more to say but I will say it another time.

So this last month has been a hard adjustment for me which is a whole other post but for now this is my update.

I am home full time with my 3 kids and so far it is the hardest job I have ever had.

I have had my computer off since I quit.  I have missed blogging and reading the blogs I follow but struggled to find the time.  I have finally caught up on my reading so I figured it was time to post again. I am so happy to do it.  I felt a little lost.  Like I had given up too much but just because I quit my job doesn't mean I quit my life.  I am desperately struggling to find balance in this knew life I have and I think getting back to things I enjoy is a very important step.

Hopefully there are still people out there who read this thing.

Love to you.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Repost- Diamonds are Bullshit

Clint is in the diamond business.  I have known that diamonds are bullshit thanks to Clint for a while but this article puts all the information in one place for you just so you can have all the information you need on the matter.
Diamonds are Bullshit

I hope you read it.  It is very informative.

I would sell my diamond ring but it isn't actually worth much.

It sucks to get older and wiser and realize the only reason you did anything was because everyone else was doing it, because people told you to, you bought into an advertising ploy or/and so you wouldn't be judged negatively.

It seems pretty much everything in this world is driven by money.  Boo.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

I wish...

I wish more people read my blog only for the reason that when I want to share amazing things like this it would reach more people.
In June I participated in a 5K called Millie's Princess Run.  I came across it while I was looking for a 5K in my area.  I knew I wanted to do it when I saw the name but then I read why the race is held and I made a promise to myself that I would be back every year to run it.
Go here to read about the run (Scroll down to the bottom of the page linked to read about Millie.)
I brought my girls with me and they dressed up like princesses.  I wanted them to see me running this 5K and why all of those princess runners were there.  It was a great race.  Millie's parents are amazing.  Millie had just passed away less then 2 weeks before the race.  I was so inspired and continue to be inspired by Millie and her family.
You can support a great cause and get a very cute outfit for a sweet little girl in your life and when your sweet girl wears it  you can be grateful that you have her to hold in your arms.  So go here and buy it!

Please read about Millie and share her story!

Love to you.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

My brother's blog.

My brother is amazing and started a blog.
He lives in Guatemala and his blog is about exposing the social injustice of Latin America through pictures.
He is a great photographer and I would love it if you would check it out and follow his adventures.  He has only posted a few times but already I have cried at just the sight of his pictures.  He is so amazing and I am lucky to have him in my life.

I am definitely inspired.

Thanks Mike.

Love to you.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Running like crazy.

In all aspects of my life I feel like I am running around like crazy but I am also literally running like crazy or trying to.  I am training for the big St. George Marathon where I am racing my friend but I have also decided to run a marathon before it to see how I am doing.  It is hard to train with 3 kids while working and doing everything else I need to do but I am doing it.  It is easiest to run in the morning but that requires me to wake up really early which can be very hard.  I started using the running app Strava and I highly recommend it.  It actually gets me motivated to get out there and run and also put forth my very best effort.  They have created a way to make your running competitive and I love it.  I am all for a little friendly competition if you haven't noticed.  If any of you are runners or bicyclists (Strava does bicycling and walking as well.) then sign up for Strava and lets follow each other and help keep each other motivated.  I am yet to be King of the Hill (or is it mountain?) on something but I am working on it.

Some of you might think "If you are so busy why would you add run a marathon to your list?" and I say I do love to run but I needed something to motivate me.  I was in the worst shape of my life before I started training and I needed to get something to force me to get moving.  It is hard to stay motivated to exercise when there are so many other things that need my attention but I think keeping myself healthy should be very close to the top of my "to-do" list and training for a marathon ensures that it stays close to the top.  Also, I think it is really important for my  kids to see me taking care of myself and exercising.  I want them to know how important it is so they will take care of themselves too and it will be natural for them to do so.  Some of you might think that running a marathon is not healthy to that I say whatever, our opinions differ.

On the subject of balancing the rest of my life that is for a different post.


Friday, July 5, 2013

Back from vacation and I hate T Mobile .

My vacation was so great.  The only reason I am back is because I missed my kids.  I probably would have stayed on St. Thomas had they been with me.  The weather was perfect, the beaches were perfect and having real beach hair was so great.

Mostly we sat on a beach and swam in the ocean which was all that I wanted to do.  I didn't really have access to my phone while on the island because I have T Mobile and they really do stink.  Their commercials are deceiving.  They have such great pricing because they have such bad coverage.  They last 2 places I have traveled I have had horrible coverage.  Do you ever want to travel to the east coast?  Well leave your phone home if you have T Mobile.  Everyone else I was with had full access to everything their phone had to offer and I did not.  Now that I think about it maybe it was a good thing but it was still really frustrating.  I couldn't check emails, instagram, facebook, google+, blogs but the real thing that bugged me is that I couldn't use the navigation feature which is nice when you are visiting somewhere new.

Anyways, when I got back it took a while to get back using my phone.  I am definitely on my phone less since getting back which has made me contemplate ditching T Mobile and taking a break from having a phone for a couple months.  Mainly because I would have to pay a fee to get rid of T Mobile and I would need to make up the cost.  Oh, and also to experience all the balance it would bring blah, blah, my life is so perfect and I am so at one with the earth blah, blah.

 St. Thomas has a lot of pirate history.  It was fun to visit some historic sites.  We came across this plaque about Jack Sparrow.  Can you find the Freudian slip?

Or maybe that was his real life's ambition.  If it was his ambition then legend says he did achieve it.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Real vacationing happening and introducing you to amashzing.

I am going on vacation.
A real vacation which means no kids.
Not even Merrill.


We are going to St. Thomas where I am literally sitting on a beach the whole time.  If it rains at all I might have to get a massage or pedicure.
I might play some tennis since I signed up for a tennis tournament for next Saturday and haven't actually played tennis in years but I love it and it is for beginners but I digress.

I am going on vacation.
I am going to smell like the actual beach!
I am sleeping through the night.
I am waking up whenever I want.
I am sitting down for a meal.
I will not be running around frantically in the mornings trying to get out the door.

Well, at least for a week.

Since I will be sitting around I will probably have lots of deep thoughts and amashzing* ideas which I might share if I can find the time.

See ya.

*amashzing is pronounced 'uh-may-sh-zing' and is even more then amazing it is reserved for something so spectacular you almost have no words to describe it but then there is and it is amashzing!
I will have to share the story of how I discovered the word amashzing one day.  It is funny.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013


Sometimes life is really hard,
Sometimes things don't go "your way",
Sometimes things are unbearable and giving up seems like the better option.
Most of the time things are good.
Most of the time there is love, caring and happiness.
Most of the time I am grateful.

Let go of the negativity even if for some reason it is easier to hold on to, easier to understand, easier to feel comfortable in.  Is it attention getting, does it get you what you want?  Maybe sometimes but most of the time it is alienating, maddening and tiresome.

You can be happy, you can feel good.  Positivity attracts positivity, love, happiness.

Let go of your heavy load and welcome in the sunshine.  Let go of the control you think you have or want.  Things will never be perfect.  The "I wills when this happens.." will never be.  What makes others happy will not make you happy so let that go and embrace yourself.  Here and now is your time to be happy so be it!

You can make those tough decisions.  You can change your life!

(Somethings I am saying to myself today and I thought they might help someone out there in the world.)


Thursday, May 23, 2013

Best and worst suncreens for a toxic free summer.

My friend Teresa sent me this article about the best and worst sunscreens.  It is very informative and since I know you want to put the best possible sunscreens on your family you should read it.  It also has some interesting facts about spray sunscreens.

Shopping guide to find the best and worst sunscreens.

Here is another great article you should check out too:

Nine toxins to avoid in personal care products

And if you want to see if any of the products you are currently using are toxic you must put this website in your bookmarks.

Skin Deep Cosmetics Database

You can search any product or any ingredient to find out if it is toxic, how toxic and exactly how your body reacts to it.

For example Retinyl Palmitate (vitamin A) causes cancer with very low doses and gets worse with sun exposure.  It is in a lot of things so start looking at your ingredients.

Don't get overwhelmed with this information.  It is very easy now to get toxic free products and pretty much every store has options for you.  Even Walmart.

Start out this summer with getting a toxic free sunscreen and bug repellent.  Do your voting and the checkout counter where your voice is the loudest.  Show companies what you support and what you will allow on/in your body because yes, everything you put on top of your body gets in your body.

Thank goodness for summer!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

A happy picture.

I love this picture so much .  It makes me happy when I see it.  It is my grandmother and her mother in 1923.  There are lots of reasons why I love this picture.  My favorite thing is that my grandmother looks like Merrill Dee.  When I asked Eva and Scarlett who it was they both said Merrill.  I also love how happy my great grandmother CeCelia looks.  CeCelia adopted my grandmother because her birth mother died due to complications of child birth.  Adoption has a wonderful history in our family.  I am so grateful for it.  I also love CeCelia's hat.

Love to you.

Have a happy day.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Springtime running and how I am like Rocky.

The last two days I have gone running.  It's pretty amazing really.  I have even done some yoga.  I am really trying to be serious about the training.  It really sucks to run a marathon if you haven't trained well.  I should know.  I have decided I would actually like to see what my running potential is.  I am a really good half ass runner so maybe I am an amazing full ass runner.  We shall see.

Tonight I ran for an hour while pushing Merrill and Scarlett in a stroller.  I figure I have a training advantage if I have to push kids while I run.  Think Rocky in the snow pulling a wagon or whatever he was pulling.  I only like Rocky IV if Rocky IV is the one with the Russian.  I also don't have Eye of The Tiger playing but Scarlett singing Old McDonald.  It is pretty cute.

Running in the springtime is pretty great because it is so gorgeous.  I love the smells, the breeze, the stormy clouds and the baby ducks.

Thank goodness for springtime.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Oh hell...

My competitiveness has gotten me in trouble.
I am pretty competitive but the good kind where I am a good loser and can be happy for the winner but I really, really like winning too.
So I was at dinner with some friends we started talking about the St. George, Utah marathon and how the registration was almost closed and before you know it I challenged my friend to a race if we got into the marathon.  What!!!????  As if I wasn't busy enough!

We have had similar marathon times but seriously there are lots of reasons why I am the underdog and here and they are:
1.  My friend is a male.
2.  He has already been training for a marathon which he is running this weekend.
3.  I haven't ran in 2 years.
4.  Did I mention I haven't ran in 2 years yet?
5.  Did I mention he is running one this weekend?

So now I have to switch gears from super lazy person to super training athlete and watch everything I put into my body and actually start running.

I won't lie, St. George is a lottery marathon, so I was secretly hoping we wouldn't get in.

I have two options:
1.  To take this seriously and have a ton of fun and kick his a#*.  (It would be so awesome.)
2.  Do my typical pathetic training where I take off the next few months and by September (the race is in October) quickly start to run and then at least finish the marathon.

I am going for option 1.  Wish me luck.  Everybody loves the underdog right?

Training starts today.

Monday, May 13, 2013

The story of Merrill Dee my curious little package.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  It was a busy day for me but a nice day.  Last Mother’s Day I was pregnant with Merrill Dee and I kept thinking about last year and what happened and how grateful I am for the way things happened. 

There have been two times in my life where I really screwed my life over.  I don’t use the word “screwed” lightly here.  I know a lot of people think about trials in their lives as things that were placed in front of them and things they had no control over but had to figure a way to steer around them but these two instances in my life were not placed in my path by anyone seen or unseen.  These things happened because of choices I made and I was not guided or prompted to make them.  Actually for one of them I had figurative flashing neon signs telling me to turn back or stop but I just kept on going until I made such a mess of my life I didn’t know what to do.  At that time I would relate my life as if I was standing barefoot in a field of broken glass and no matter where I chose to go I would feel the consequence of my actions.  It pretty much sucked.

So, there have been two times in my life where I have prayed to God and begged him to take my life and fix the mess I made of it.  I was sincere.  I had no idea what to do or where to go so I gave my life to him to fix.  At these two times in my life I saw miracles happen and I received so much help I was amazed and awestruck.  My life was like a big huge knot of necklaces that are almost impossible to untangle but every day I watched my big, messy, knot of a life unravel before my eyes and when the knot was untangled God handed me a beautiful life again and I got to start all over and try to keep it that way.  I have learned so much from these experiences.  I have changed so much for the better I can’t even begin to describe it.  I want to tell you about one of them.

September of 2011 Clint and I officially separated and I moved out of our house with Eva and Scarlett.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  This is when I prayed for help.  When I think about it now I remember how I felt and my heart hurts a little and I can’t dwell on it for too long.  It was very, very hard.  After moving out Clint and I would have good and bad days trying to steer through the muck of figuring out how to raise our kids together while living in separate houses.  I don’t recommend it, it is so hard.  On one of those good days in September I conceived Merrill Dee.  Yes the same month I moved out!!! What??!!! I had just finished nursing Scarlett.  She was 10 months old.  Now when I look back I laugh and laugh about it.  It is pretty funny.  In October I was going to lunch and I had a pregnancy test in my bag and in the bathroom of the restaurant I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive and I had to go back and sit through the lunch thinking, “No, no, no that can’t be right!”  I bought more tests and they all came back positive.  It was a difficult emotion and one I can’t describe.  I had tried to have kids for 8 years and I begged and pleaded and made tons of promises with God if he would just help me get pregnant so here I was pregnant and I felt so guilty that I was sad about it.  I imagined the little baby inside of me to be a sneaky little sneak rubbing its hands together and laughing at me mischievously.  It had snuck into my uterus at the worst possible time.

I didn’t tell anyone for a long time.  I didn’t know how to tell people and I didn’t think they would understand.  I also knew people would wonder if it was Clint’s baby and if it was the reason we were separated.  I wanted to be at peace with all of it before I told anyone.  So I prayed and prayed a lot.  It took about 16 weeks before I told my family and friends.  Don’t worry I let Clint carry the burden with me {wink}.

Even with a baby on the way Clint and I stayed separated and had hard times.  Babies just don’t magically fix relationships as some of you well know.  It didn’t look like this new baby was going to change anything for us.  But things changed and changed dramatically actually.  If you asked my in March if things were going well for me and Clint I would have said no buy by April of 2012 we had decided that we both wanted to live with our kids.  We had witnessed in Eva and Scarlett the negative effects our problems had on them at that reality was not OK with either of us so we decided to make a change and try harder.  In May we moved back into our home and became one family unit under one roof again.  The girls were very happy and the changes we have seen in them have been so worth it.  The break we took was worth it.  We have a healthier relationship, we work harder at it and we are more grateful for things we have.  We have also just had to let go of things and move on.  There is no room for holding onto grudges in any relationship.  I have learned if you actually want a relationship to work you cannot hold grudges and being stubborn and doing so you really end up a loser.  This counts for any relationship in your life.

A little over a month later Merrill Dee was born.  When I first met him I knew he was not the sneaker I thought he was but the sweetest little man ever born.  We told his Grandpa, Merrill Dee, that we were naming our new baby after him and he got teary eyed and thanked us.  In that hospital room watching him hold his namesake and get teary eyed over him has become such a sweet memory for us.  Merrill Dee Sr. loved having a namesake and was so proud of him.  He would tell everyone about him.  In September we had a baby blessing which I posted about here where Merrill Dee blessed Merrill Dee.  It was such a great day.  Then 3 weeks later Merrill Dee Sr. died from a fall from a ladder.  It was such a tragedy and one we are all still working through.

Now that I look back to see the big picture I see the sweet unraveling God did for me.  From September 2011 to October 2012 there were certain things that needed to happen.  I am so glad that I let God help me.  I am so glad for the way he chose to help me.  At the time I didn’t think it was help at all.  Sometimes help comes in very curious packages.  I have now learned not to question the packages especially when they are asked for.  It is best to accept them and possibly pray for help accepting them and wait until the meaning  reveals itself.  Life is one big silly circle really and it is best to hang on tight and try to enjoy the ride. 

My sweet Merrill Dee is my curious package.  

I am so grateful for him.  I am so grateful to be a mother.  It seemed like it took so long for me to get to be a mom and now I see I am a much better mom in my 30’s then I would have been in my 20’s.  I had things to learn and experience before I could have the honor of motherhood and I understand that now.  I have had to say a lot of apology prayers in my life already.  Jeez!

Here is last year's Mother's Day post.

Love to you!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Drew Barrymore helps out all the poor girls.

I guess the title of this post could be Drew Barrymore helps out the poor/thrifty/cheap/don't want to spend my money on expensive makeup girls.
First off I love Drew Barrymore.  I like to imagine we would be good friends because honestly who wouldn't want to be friends with me and my impression of Drew is that we have a lot in common.  We are both a little hippish and quirky and fun etc.  In this month's Lucky magazine Drew talks about her new makeup line she has put out called FLOWER.  I tried it and so far I surprisingly really like it.  I don't know why I am so surprised because when my best friend puts out a makeup up line she of course used my advice and put out a great product.  It is higher quality product for a low price.

Just so you know I worked in cosmetics for about 6 years.  I started out in Clinique and then worked for Estee Lauder and Lancome and then some free lance.  I have used a lot of different kinds of makeup and there is a difference in makeup quality and usually you have to pay for that difference.  Some makeup products are worth paying for and some products are not.  That is a whole other post.  For now here is my review of some of the FLOWER products.

Zoom-In Ultimate Mascara:  I love this mascara and I thought that changing the brush up by twisting wouldn't make a difference and was a gimmick but I was wrong.  It makes a difference and it is fun!  It doesn't clump or flake but is super easy to wash off.  You also don't need to apply a lot to get enough on your lashes.  Love love it!  If you don't like it I will buy yours from you.

Glow Baby Glow blush/bronzer in Beachy Keen:  I picked Beachy Keen because I love anything with the word Beach in it but there are 4 color options.  It is great!  It is very silky and applies nicely.  It also stays on well.  It is just as good as anything you will buy in the department store.  BTW it does not come with a brush.

Shadow Play Eye Shadow Quad in Foxy Browns:  Love this eye shadow!  I was very impressed with how silky it is.  It applies like an expensive shadow.  Dare I compare it to Chanel??  Yes I will!  There are 4 different quads I love this quad and I want more.

Sheer Up Lip Tint:  I got the Lacy Laurel.  I love the subtle pink color it's not too bright.  It love that it doesn't have a taste or smell and it goes on smooth and has a slight shine.  It is quick and easy and you don't need a mirror to apply it.
Sheer Up
Picture credit to

Color Play Creme Shadow:  This is a nice creme shadow.  It has a great texture and is easy to apply.  I will love it for summer and it would work well as a shadow base too.  Creme shadows just don't wear very well and you can't wear eyeliner with them because they suck it up so just an FYI about creme shadows they all wear like that.  But it still looked nice and wore well throughout the day without creasing I just wish I didn't wear eyeliner with it.
Color Play
Picture credit to

From the products I tried this is a great line of makeup at a great low price and is as good as anything you will buy at a department store.  The only downfall is that you have to go into Walmart to get it because it is sold exclusively there.  As I try more of it I will let you know what I like.

Let me know what you think.


Thursday, May 2, 2013


I got my hair done and I love it.  It has been a while since I had a professional do my hair so I am feeling extra pampered and lucky.  I love my hair stylist so if anyone is in Salt Lake and needs a good one let me know.  I went in and basically told her I wanted something low maintenance and something that would last until October.  She gave me the perfect sunkissed, beach hair of my dreams.  Did you know I love beach hair?  I love it!  I am a sucker for all salt sprays and anything that claims to be "beachy" or smell like the beach.  I wish my hair was mermaid wavy but I have stick straight hair, fine hair with no body so the salt sprays add the thickness that I love.

Here are my self portraits:

This streak is the only natural one.  It is an albino spot on my head.  

As you can see I got a fun new photo editor app on my phone.  BTW it is supposed to look messy and "beachy"  I love the effortless look because it actually takes very little effort.  And being a mom of 3 I am very good at putting very little effort into how my hair looks.  The plus side of having a professional do your hair is that it looks good when you put very little effort into it.  The right cut + the right color = beach magic....well for me anyways.

Awapuhi Wild Ginger by Paul Mitchell Texturizing Sea Spraysurf spray
Here are my two favorite beach sprays and believe me I have tried a lot of beach sprays.  And I love the Paul Mitchell Awapuhi line.  It smells great and is sulfate free and I am also a sucker for anything islandy especially anything that is Tahitian.
I am so glad summer is just around the corner.  This summer is going to be epic for me but more on that later.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Blog find!

I found this amazing blog today.

Please check it out.

I realize ignorance is bliss but when it comes to your health and your families health purposfully staying ignorant so that you can enjoy your diet soda or favorite potato chip is just silly.

Atleast know what is out there so that when you eat a beaver's anal gland you know that's what you are eating.

I swear this blog isn't turing into a crazy hippy blog but the word needs to be spread so educate yourself.  Please!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

After that last post let me say this...

Just to pull at your heartstrings a little.
Sorry I couln't find photo credit.

I hope my last post, Becoming Vegan, was clear that I am becoming vegan and that I am for sure not perfect and that what I didn't say is that it is pretty hard to go vegan.  I do miss things a lot.

Things I miss:
Sour cream
Cream cheese
Butter on toast with jam (jam and toast is just not the same)
Cafe Rio pork (though I don't miss all the veins and arteries I find in pork so this is not that hard.  Also      
                 anything marinated in pure sugar and then baked in it is going to be good.  If you think Cafe Rio is 
                 a healthy option and you should check out the nutritional info.)
Seafood (This will for sure be a big weakness for me.)
Cheese on things like bread, crackers, chips, etc.
Milk chocolate (Big weakness)

I miss these things but once I eliminated them from my home it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be.  Food still tastes really good without them and the only time I really miss them is when they are right in front of me and I realize I miss them.  Plus, there are lots of really good substitutions out there.  Like Vegannaise tastes exactly the same as Mayonnaise.  I recently used some vegan cream cheese to make cream cheese frosting and couldn't tell the difference and that's what powdered sugar will do.  Also, it is just acquiring the taste for the new stuff if you have to have it.  I don't have to have sour cream so I won't really replace it with anything.

This is the "Mayonnaise" that I think tastes great.  Click on the picture for more info.
I will definitely post about new vegan things I try that are amazing because even if you aren't vegan if there is a healthier option that tastes just as good why not go with it.


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Becoming Vegan

I am becoming vegan.  It is something I decided to do a couple months ago but now that I look back I have probably been becoming vegan for a while I just finally realized it.  I used to be very ignorant on the topic and was very critical of people who were vegan.  After watching a few documentaries, reading some books and doing research online I have decided it is the best decision for me and my family.  (Clint was apart of the decision as well so when I say "I" I mean "We".)  It will be a slow transition and as long as we have chickens we will always eat our eggs.  We don't eat a lot of eggs anyways and since I know our chickens are treated really well and that they are fed really well I feel fine about it.

Some of my misconceptions about vegans:

If you are Vegan you have to be like "Straight Edgers".  This is what the kids in high school were called who were vegans, didn't wear leather or use any animal products, and broke into mink farms over the weekend to set the mink free.  They also did a lot of skate boarding.

That Vegan's stink or have an odd odor because they are so unhealthy because people need meat and dairy to be healthy.  (This is very untrue and a very ignorant thing to believe.  I apologize to all the people I judged in my thoughts.)

That Vegan's were only vegans because they supported animal rights and that was the only reason.

All of my misconceptions were based on random comments I would hear from other people and close mindedness on my part.  I have learned a lot in the past few years about food and health and how you actually are what you eat.  I never thought that spirituality and food were connected but since I read the book Women, Food and God I was introduced to the idea that what we eat and the way we treat our bodies is directly related to our relationship with God and spirituality.  Immediately that idea felt right to me and I have found it to be true and read other books on the topic.  Since making changes to the way I eat and showing respect to my body by nourishing it with good, whole, healthy foods I feel happier, more peaceful, balanced and overall just better which translates into me having more patience, being kinder to myself and others, being more open and being more aware and sensitive to people and feelings.

Did you know there are three good reasons to becoming a vegan?  They are:
You will be really, really healthy if you eat a balanced, diverse, whole food, plant based diet.
You will help the environment.  I have read that you will do more for the environment by becoming a vegan than owning a hybrid car.
You will help stop animal cruelty and horrible mass animal farms.

You just need to pick one of these reasons to become a vegan but will have a bigger effect then you think.

The main thing I hear people ask me is where will you get your protein.  When I hear this it is obvious that people just don't know a lot about food.  Have you ever heard of nuts, legumes, quinoa?  They are packed with lots of protein and that is just naming a few..  Plus there are vegan protein bars, powders, etc just to be safe if you really are worried the protein thing.  BTW vegan protein bars and powders are just full of nuts, legumes, quinoa, etc.
Another thing I hear is,"What about the vitamin B12?"  I just take a supplement to be safe.  No biggie.
And the most frustrating thing I hear is,"Where will you get your calcium?"  This is so frustrating because this all stems from the amazing advertising campaign by the Dairy Association.  You get so much calcium from vegetables and it is much more absorbable than cow's milk calcium.  So you can rest easy on that idea.

If a person is vegan and they are unhealthy it is because they are not eating healthy not because they are vegan.  There are lots of processed, sugary snacks that are vegan.  

I will stop for now and write more on the topic later but this is what I am doing now.  I am definitely not perfect and if I go to someones home who has made me and my family a meal I don't refuse meat.  I am also a sucker for sushi and chocolate but this is a transition and I can't completely change over night.  If you know about the cows we raised you know I have a lot of organic beef I need to do something with.  We will most likely slowly eat it.

Becoming a vegan has been pretty great.  I feel amazing and before you judge it as a crazy, extreme thing you should try it and see.  Just give it a couple weeks and you may not want to go back because you will feel so good!  Plus, don't worry, I used to be one of the judgers so I know how people are viewing me.

Here are some links if you want more information about veganism and if you have Netflix there are lots of documentaries available to you on the subject.  I recommend Forks Over Knives and Food Inc. to get you started.  I have heard that Vegucated is very good but very hard to watch because of the graphic images of animal cruelty.  I haven't gotten up the courage to watch it yet.

Vegan love.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Idiot mother.

Sometimes I am an idiot mother and I don't listen to my inner mother instincts.  It is 1 a.m. and I am watching Cupcake Wars.  It would probably make more sense to just go to bed but I have more patience if I am not woken up over and over but just stay up.  I will probably go to bed soon but I have some sleepless hours ahead of me.  Merrill's two ear infections are ever present and were not phased by the amoxicillin that he had been taking for 8 days.  I had a feeling it wasn't working on Tuesday but didn't listen to myself and talked myself out of going until Saturday when his fever started.  As soon as we stepped into the doctor's office he started projectile vomiting.  Poor bug.  Apparently his ears looked horrible with puss and he was so exhausted he could hardly hold his head up.  We opted for a shot of antibiotics this time and I was told that amoxicillin isn't working as well since it is prescribed so much and the viruses are getting stronger.  I have no idea if that is true but it sounds about right.  Laying flat on his back causes too much pressure on his ears so he is laying propped on a pillow and waking up every hour or two very unhappy.

The other way I was an idiot is that I let Scarlett eat ice cream tonight.  What????  I am the biggest idiot.  She also had cheese and butter but i think it was the ice cream that did her in.  She keeps waking up and crying and we are just waiting for her to puke it all up.  Poor sweet Scarlett it is all my fault.  Sometimes I just think that since it has been so long since she has had any problems that she can handle it but she never can.  It is also so hard to go to other people's homes to eat because they have prepared a meal and slathered everything in cheese in butter so then what?

So I have two sick kids who I could have helped but I am an idiot.

Another occasion when we fed Scarlett ice cream.  She is so cute.

Lesson learned....hopefully.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Dream house.

The picture shown is not our home or our property but I wish it was.  
And I couldn't find credit for the photo.

Right now we live in 2 bedroom 1 bathroom home.  
Our kids share one room.  
We have 3 kids.
2 in a queen bed and 1 in a crib.
Time is going by fast and soon this arrangement won't work any more.

Luckily the rooms are a good size but still we are busting at the seams in our home.  If it was just a little bigger I could probably live there forever but we have got to get into a bigger place.  We are looking into building a new home on the property that we live on.  I love the property that we live on now.  I love that it a farm in the city and it has gorgeous light and trees and a long driveway.  I would love to build on it.  I am currently looking through house plans.  It is so hard.  I have no idea how to settle on a house plan.  There are certain things I know I want and but the more I look the more I want.  All the information out there is overwhelming!  We would definitely be building our dream house on a budget so how we do we do it???  Any ideas are helpful.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Surprise Tuesday

This day did not start out well.  I woke up angry about the Boston Marathon bombing and the girl who was missing in Provo, Utah.  Sometimes I want to lock my family in our house and never leave.  A few hours later I found out the girl had been found and she was safe.  I think it was a runaway situation or something.  And then I found out I had to head home early.  It was just what I needed.  Today everyone should be able to hold their loved ones close.

We are sitting on the couch watching Hotel Transylvania.  It is noon and I just get to do whatever.  It is so great!  Sometimes people think I choose to work over staying home with my kids.  I would so much rather be home with my kids and I am working on making that happen.  I have been working on it for a while and trying new things to make it happen but I think it is finally in my near future.

I am so lucky to have a great job that is flexible with my schedule and that has made it harder to leave because I do like my job but I feel like it consumes my life and I would rather have other things consuming my life.

BTW our house loves Hotel Transylvania and it is so nice to have a movie the whole family enjoys.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Why the cry out method doesn't work for me.

I'm sure I have mentioned before that I don't like the "cry out method" when training your kids to have good sleeping habits.  I also don't pay attention to all the rules doctors or books try to give on sleep habits i.e.: You must lay your baby down in their bed before they fall asleep and you should not let them fall asleep in your arms.  Don't doctors and books know that it is one of the best things in the world to hold a sleeping baby??!!!  I am very aware that all kids are different so what works for some may not work for others so please no one be offended.  I don't think you are a bad parent if you have used the cry out method because I have heard from multiple people that it worked for them.  And don't get me wrong fussing a little is much different then screaming bloody  murder.  I don't go get my kids at the tiniest amount of fussing but I refuse to let my kids scream.  The few times I have actually let them scream and then finally succumbed I have found Merrill tangled in his bumper and terrified (tore that off and will never use one again.), Eva with throw up all over herself and her crib, and Scarlett with her leg stuck between the bars.  So, again if my kids are screaming I am going to check on them and, dare I say it, pick them up and comfort them.  Moving on.

Serious this is the best!

This past week has been really hard with Merrill.  He hasn't slept through the night in a week.  He has woken up every 1-2 hours screaming and arching his back.  It was clear he was in pain and I thought it was GI related or teething related.  I tried everything I could think of but nothing worked.  Yesterday was his 9 month doctor appointment.  I told the doctor about how hard the week had been and he gave me this big lecture on sleep habits and how I should not feed him again until morning, I should not pick him up, etc etc.  He thinks I am a bit of a hippie because I am on a delayed vaccination schedule and I don't feed my kids dairy and he is nice about it but I think he thinks I am extreme.  Yes, I know, snuggling your kids when they scream at night is extreme!  Anyways, after the lecture he checks Merrill's ears and he has 2 ear infections which look really bad.  I was so happy he had them because I had a reason for the craziness.  I was so glad I continued to snuggle him because I would have felt so guilty if he was in pain and I just let him scream.  I still feel guilty I didn't get him to the doctor sooner.  Ear infection just didn't cross my brain for some reason.  Other than the night time he was so happy and acting normal.

Merrill slept so much better last night and I fully expect him to sleep through the night tonight.  Our whole families sleep  habits will be back to normal!

Seriously, who could resist picking up this kid if he was crying.

The defense rests.

Oh, sweet Merrill Dee, I love you!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Google +

Well now I'm on Google+ if anyone cares. So far, better than Facebook. 

Reader vs. Feedly

I love everything Google.
I love Chrome, Gmail, Blogger, etc.
So I used Google Reader to keep track of all the blogs and websites I read.
Sadly Google is cancelling Reader and at first I was mad but now I'm not because I found Feedly and it is way better than Reader (sorry Google).
Check it out if you need a way to keep track of all the sites you love to read and Feedly can be used on your droid or apple phone.  I love both the website and the phone interface.  Plus, it communicates with Reader so you can just transfer everything over.  Thank you!

The only thing I can't get into with Google is Google+ but then I don't really participate on Facebook either.  I also think Facebook has gone downhill since all of the ads.  It is so messy now.

And no this post is not sponsered by Feedly but thanks for thinking that my blog is big enough for Feedly to care what I thought.


P.S.  I need a pedicure pretty bad.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Easter 2013

Last week our Easter was pretty great.  I made the dresses for Eva and Scarlett and Merrill wore gingham.  

Since Eva's grandpa died she has been more and more curious about death.  Sometimes she will suddenly become sad and tell me that she misses her grandpa.  Other times she will tell me about her dreams where Grandpa was chasing her around and swinging her.  When he died we told her how one day he would wake up but we didn't know when.  Often times in her prayers she will say, "Thank you that Grandpa will wake up soon".  On Easter I explained to her why we celebrate Easter.  I told her that Jesus died and woke up and because of that every one will die and wake up just like Grandpa.  She is getting smart because after I said that she took a moment and then asked, "Will Grandpa wake up in his box because it is dark in there?"  I told her I didn't think so.  

This sweet little Merrill Dee is my worst sleeper.  I think he has some stomach or intestinal stuff going on at night because snuggling, bouncing and whatever else doesn't work and his cries are more painful then sad.  When my girls would cry at night I didn't mind because all they wanted was to snuggle so they would just sleep with me and everyone would get sleep but with Merrill I have to nurse him and it takes a while to calm him down.  It has definitely been hard but he is healthy and happy and gorgeous so every morning when he smiles at me and kicks his legs with excitement for the new day I forgive him and know I have the rest of my life to catch up on sleep.  Other than at night Merrill is so sweet and happy.  He goes out of his way to make eye contact with people and loves to smile and laugh.  I love his gorgeous olive skin and dark chocolate brown eyes and his giggle is music to my ears.

Hunting for eggs.  These girls are becoming really close.  They play well together and Eva is stepping into her role as big sister happily.  She loves to take care of Scarlett when she is in the mood.  When Scarlett gets in trouble she tries to comfort her and it is really cute.  It is the best to hear them in the bath or outside playing and giggling together.  They think the words 'pee' and 'poo' are so funny.  While riding in the car they will sing in the car and insert 'poo' into the songs they know.  It sends them into giggling fits.  My tactic is to not give them a reaction unless they are being disrespectful because I think if I give them a reaction it will just spur them on.  If I act like it is no big deal I have the hope it won't last long but whatever, it's not that bad.  It's pretty cute and funny.  Here is an example of one of Eva's songs, it is her school song with poo inserted:
Everyday is a poopy day when you do it the poopy way,
Finding poopy adventures wherever you go....etc.

She can never finish it because she thinks it is so funny.  I consider it a good sign that she knows how to use it and insert it correctly.  

This sweet little angel is my Scar Scar.  I  always swore I would never shorten her name to Scar but when Eva started doing it I couldn't tell her not to call her that so now it has stuck.  Scarlett has a "melt your heart" energy about her.  Everyone who spends anytime with her says so.  She is so gentle and caring and kind.  She is shy and gets nervous to be in a crowd of people.  She is very motherly and has loved babies since she was very little.  She loves to snuggle and rest her head on shoulders.  I think she can read other people's energies too.  There are a few people that she has special connections with and those people she remembers well and asks about them even if she hasn't seen them for a while.  She loves her Grandma and when she is sad because both me and Clint are telling her "no" she cries for Grandma.  Scarlett looks just like her dad.  She has a cute little shuffle step run which is the cutest thing to see and goodness her big eyes and squishy cheeks are the best things in all the world.  

It is so crazy how different each of my kids are from the moment they were born.  It is crazy and terrifying the amount of love I have for each of them.  

I am so happy to finally have kids.  It took me about 8 years of trying.

I hope you all had an amazing Easter.


Saturday, April 6, 2013


I am sick. I haven't been this sick in a while. Sore throat, body aches, really cold and then really hot. It sucks. I have literally been laying on my couch for the last two days watching TV. I am getting really bored which I am taking as a sign I am getting better.
I have watched A LOT of TV:
The Voice
Chicago Fire
Cup Cake Wars
Ghost Protocol
Lots of Dora
Just to name a few.
Thank goodness for on demand and netflix.
My hair is also pretty sick since the last thing I want to do is have cold wet hair touching my body.

Because you care. Love.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Back to blogging.

I have missed blogging so much.  I think about it often and think of things I want to post but just haven't been able to.  When I stopped blogging I stopped reading all the blogs I normally read.  I have felt so disconnected and out of balance.  I have recently started reading those blogs again and I have been so inspired and I realized I feel happier.  I have missed blogging and my litle blogging community.  So thanks to all of you who write about your lives and inspire me to do better, be connected and share my life.  Because I truly believe that it is the relationships in my life that make me important.  Even the blog and instagram only relationships.  So although this is a short one it means there are more to come.

Me yelling for the judge to rule during our Eggwood Derby on Easter.  That is my Easter bonnet on my head and I am wearing my glasses because my damn herpes is flaring up.  Ocular of course.


P.S.  How does one make one's blog cute?  I have forgotten or did I ever know.
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