Today marks one year since my father-in-laws death. I can't believe it has been a year and yet there is a a bit of relief with it. A lot of things have changed in my life since his death and most of those changes are because of it.
I quit my job at the beginning of September. I am not a working mom anymore. I worked for my father-in-laws company. This last year at work has been really hard without him. I won't/can't go into details about exactly why I left the company but I will say that I felt that it wasn't really my own decision to leave. I didn't want to leave. I loved my job and had lots of goals and plans for the company and the direction of the position I was in. But alas, that enthusiasm and love was not shared by others. I fought for a year to stay there. I fought for a year to get others to see my vision. It was a hard year in that part of my life. I finally decided to give it up. I still have a lot of mixed feelings about it which I am trying to work through. Some days I am at peace and I say happily,"The Universe has other plans for me and I am excited to find out what is next!" and then there are other days where I am full of anger and spite and I want to shake certain people and yell at them. I know God works in mysterious ways. I have to believe that this has a purpose and that in a few years I will look back and be so grateful that it all happened this way. Right now it is so hard to just give up my anger. I want to for the most part but sometimes the justice loving feminist side of me just wants to keep fighting just out of vengeance which I know is not the healthy, happy option. There is more to say but I will say it another time.
So this last month has been a hard adjustment for me which is a whole other post but for now this is my update.
I am home full time with my 3 kids and so far it is the hardest job I have ever had.
I have had my computer off since I quit. I have missed blogging and reading the blogs I follow but struggled to find the time. I have finally caught up on my reading so I figured it was time to post again. I am so happy to do it. I felt a little lost. Like I had given up too much but just because I quit my job doesn't mean I quit my life. I am desperately struggling to find balance in this knew life I have and I think getting back to things I enjoy is a very important step.
Hopefully there are still people out there who read this thing.
Love to you.